Permeable
by Tterit
Summary: As Mary Hightower plummets to the center of the earth her thoughts drift to her brother and what could have been. They could have stayed siblings forever, but now he belongs to the light, and she belongs to the dirt. One-shot Spoilers for Everfound.


Mary Hightower felt the gentle movement of falling, falling deep into the earth. The dirt would have felt soft and cold, but seeing as it was in the living world, it didn't feel much like anything to the Afterlight.

The fridge or sarcophagus, which she was permanently trapped in, would have been very squishy if Afterlights weren't able to fit in any space they desired, or were forced to inhabit. Mary wasn't forced into the fridge though, no one told her to get in it but herself. She needed to, she had to prevent herself from forgetting it all again.

When Mary Hightower looked into that light many things became clear to her, memories returned and hidden fears jumped back into her memory of a heart. She could remember the day she crossed and she could also remember before that day. She could remember her father and her home and she could remember her life with her family.

There was a reason that she had asked to speak to Mikey that day. There's a reason for everything Miss Mary does, always has been, always will be.

On that day Mary suddenly knew that she had lost. She realized that it was hopeless to keep fighting and when she looked into Nick's eyes she didn't want to battle anyway. When she looked into his eyes though, she also knew that she couldn't accept his offer and change.

She couldn't accept his offer for two reasons:

Mary is a very stubborn girl.

Mary could never live with herself if she changed. If she developed Nick's view of life, his view that made Mary out to be a villain, then guilt would creep up on her. If she changed then she may gain a full conscious that whispered to her how horrible the things she did are. A conscious that would just mock her till the end of time making her existence one of anguish. She wouldn't be able to love Nick either, not knowing what she was beginning to know.

For these reasons Mary was plummeting towards the center of the earth at a painfully slow pace in a fridge that had once been blown up by a nuclear bomb. For these reasons Mary was left alone with these thoughts and a world of dirt that she permeable to.

Her mind wandered back to Mikey and her buried memories. She had always had these memories; she had always known how she had crossed and how she had held to her mother's deadspot to keep from sinking but something that she had hidden for so long had returned.

On that day Megan McGill had woken up from her nine-month slumber with a wave of confusion sweeping over her. Her body felt stiff, though of course she didn't really have a body and couldn't really feel anything. She had held her head as though she were having a headache though it was really just the memory of one; such pesky aliments of the living could no longer inflict Miss McGill.

She had twisted her neck and looked back at Mikey, whose eyes showed just as much fear and confusion as her own. Megan had smiled and attempted to assure her little brother that all was well. Mikey wasn't buying it though; he knew that something was very wrong in his world.

Mary had told him that they would get to the bottom of this. She had said that perhaps the two had just fallen unconscious, maybe they had fainted. Mikey argued that one doesn't just faint right in the middle of the train tracks but Mary ignored him. One thing made her doubt her own theory though, the muted colors of the world around them and the way their feet sank into the earth.

Mikey and his sister had traveled home knowing that once they arrived there everything would make sense again and everything would be okay. The drunken man changed everything though. That man had walked right through Mikey as though he weren't even there and that was when Mikey knew what had really happened as did Megan but neither said it aloud.

They reached their home and that's when the pressure of the strange gravity of Everlost reached its peak. Mikey felt himself spiraling into the ground but he wasn't going to allow it to happen. He held onto Mary who seemed a bit more surefooted but was still falling all the same.

Mikey put his hand on the doorknob to open the door but the shiny brass doorknob didn't open it just let Mikey's hand fall right through it. Mary walked through the wall into their home first and soft Everlost tears hit her cheeks as she starred at her house, her home that was no longer hers.

The pressure built up till it was so strong that she couldn't resist its pull, but yet she did and she, in the last moments of having her arms above the ground, pulled herself onto the bed where her mother had died.

It was solid it was safe and she was safe to cry now, so she did. She curled into a ball and cried. That's when she saw him, her brother, her flesh and blood, sinking into the ground. His eyes were fearful, sad, and worried. Mikey didn't yet know what would happen to him if he fell below the ground and he didn't want to find out. But the farther he fell the more he found out.

Soon he was up to his neck and all Mary could see were those eyes. Something about his eyes was unsettling. He looked as though he blamed her for his falling and then Mary realized that he did. She could have reached out her hand to him and he could have grabbed it, if she didn't waste his last few moments with her head in her lap crying tears of sorrow for _herself_. She had forgotten about Mikey and she had let him fall. That was the start of her new selfish existence. That was the start of Mary Hightower the East Witch. That was the beginning of the end for young Megan McGill.

Now as Mary stands in a fridge that's on its way to the 'Centered Ones' she thinks back to what she needed to tell him. What she needed to say to her brother she wasn't sure, it wasn't something she planned out it would have been out of impulse, purely.

After looking into that light and remembering the fifteen years she spent with Mikey as her brother she just needed to talk to him. She couldn't help but wonder if Mikey left Everlost hating her, or if he pitied her. Neither of those emotions is what she wanted though, she wanted what her and Mikey used to have. She wanted a brother and sisterly relationship full of love.

So many of her children had loved her, she had gained so much respect over her years in Everlost, but still she hadn't gained her brother's and she never would. Why couldn't he listen to his older sister once more? Why couldn't he have shared her views? Things would have been better then. If he had followed her then he wouldn't be inside the mysterious light towards who knows what. He could have stayed in Everlost and he could have been her right hand man, he could have been like Speedo only much more loved.

But no, Mikey had to choose Allie and the Chocolate Ogre...Nick.

Mikey had to go to the light, gone, forever. Now Mary shifts through the dirt with a frown on her face as her thoughts travel to another boy, a non-existent boy.

* * *

**And I'm sure you can guess who that boy is. **

**Anyway I hope you liked it, I just finished Everfound and I had to write something for it, I never thought it would be about Mary though…she's like one of my least favorite characters. But then again, when it comes to Neal Shusterman even my least favorite characters are still awesome. So please review! **

**I really wish this fandom was bigger…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Everlost, Neal Shusterman does. **


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